Husbands must pray for wives | Dr. Mike Spaulding

I’ve been speaking primarily to men in this series. The topic has been praying for our wives so that we will be changed. I know many of you men are of the attitude that you pray for your wives so that God will change her. My point in this series is that God is going to change you in order to change her.

So far we’ve discussed the fact that praying for your wife will result in you evaluating your relationship with her, your responses to her, and the type of love you show her. Guys, this is “gut check” time. Will you be honest with yourself? Will you listen as well as hear when God answers you concerning your prayers for your wife?

This process will yield the sweet fruit of confession and repentance toward God and if necessary, to your wife. Men, you have a high calling as spiritual leader in your marriage. This leadership position can only be powered by the Holy Spirit who will enable you to love her sacrificially.

You will see a definite change in your heart attitude toward your wife. You will cherish, treasure, and celebrate her as God’s gift to you. You will see her as God’s appointed helper to walk alongside of you. She is your biggest supporter. She is worthy of celebrating and praising with a thankful heart.

This in turn changes your behavior. Men, the way we show that we treasure something is to spend time engaged. Schedules can be cruel task masters that will ransack a fruitful marriage. Make sure your priorities are right which means that time with your wife is near the top of your list.

This transformation will change the way you pray for your wife. It will no longer be “God change her because I can’t take much more,” and will instead become, “God change me so that I don’t take my wife for granted, so that I’m not bitter, so that I’m not hateful.” Your prayer life for your wife lays the foundation for a marriage God designed it to be.

Men, praying for our wives is a powerful and much-needed discipline. But I will boldly tell you that we need to pray for her as much, if not more than she needs us to pray for her. God change us so that we might be the men our wives need.

Grasping these truths will create a transformed heart. The next post will be the final in this series, “Men –Pray For Your Wives Part 5.”

Friends, I welcome your comments.

In part one of this series I introduced the idea that as men we must pray for our wives. I discussed the great need we have as men to pray for our wives with the right attitude. That right attitude is an understanding that as the leaders of our families we must model the actions and words we desire to see in our wives. This means when we pray for our wives we must be prepared to change.

Men when we pray for our wives to be all that God wants them to be our heart attitudes toward her will change. Has there been strife and discord in the relationship? It is impossible to hold onto a hurt while praying earnestly for God to move and work in our wives. And when we do ask God to move in our wife’s life, He will begin by showing us what part we must play in that process.

This will also draw our attention to her needs, desires, strengths, and weaknesses. We will begin to see where we can step in and offer help or volunteer to take something off her plate. Guys, I don’t need to remind you that we can get caught up in our busy lives of work, schedules, and deadlines, not to mention the children’s activities and church related events. It is easy to forget that our wives have struggles too and would see your unsolicited offer to help as a huge encouragement.

In this process of praying for our wives we will experience change in our own attitude and we will begin to sense our hearts being more closely aligned with our wife’s heart. Men, it is a commonly accepted truth that women seek a deeper emotional bond with their husbands, deeper than many men realize. You’ve been put on notice now; so what are you going to do in response?

Being a godly husband is a daunting task when rightly understood. Our role is to provide strong, consistent, righteous leadership that demonstrates patience under fire, kindness as a first priority, and perhaps most importantly self-control. Being a husband does not give you the title of dictator nor the authority to “lord” it over your wife; if those are your behaviors, you are sowing to the wind and as the Bible says you will reap a whirlwind of trouble.

In the next installment in this series I will talk about how your treatment of your wife is a mirror into your heart. Stay tuned for Part 3 of “Men – Pray For Your Wives.”

God bless you today as you seek Him.