marriage requires praying for one another

In this series of posts we have discussed the need we have as men to pray for our wives. If you’ve been with us for the first four parts in this series, you’ve learned that the biggest reason we need to pray for our wives is so we might be changed. No doubt this reasoning has taken many of you by surprise.

Men we pray for our wives so that God will fundamentally change us; so that we will have hearts in-tune with God’s heart for our wives. It is easy to develop tunnel-vision so that all we see are our perspectives, our struggles, and our needs in the marriage. We want God to incline our heart to our wife; to enable us to show compassion always, to demonstrate a respectful attitude without a hint of condescension.

Today I discuss the last two reasons we pray for our wives. The first is because she needs it. Men, here’s a newsflash – our wives are sinners too. Ok, we don’t need a headline to know that right? But in the midst of all this talk about praying for our wives so that we will be changed, lies this nugget of truth – our beloved, the one we are called to honor, esteem, and celebrate as God’s gift to us, is herself a sinner in need of forgiveness and grace. Pray God will grant her that each day.

Then secondly, we must pray for our wives because this is the primary weapon of our warfare on her behalf. Life is a spiritual struggle. The stresses we face as men are equally present in our wives’ lives. Today many wives work outside the home, juggling career with responsibilities to children, family, home, church, and community. Where will her support come from if not from us?

Men, when you read the Apostle Paul’s exhortation in Ephesians to take up your spiritual armor every day in order to stand firm against the schemes of the devil, do you read this challenge in the context of your marriage? Do you understand that one very effective strategy of our enemy has been to undermine the marriage relationship?

When husbands do not pray for their wives there is left a gaping hole in the battlements. Neglected prayer leaves a powerful weapon lying on the spiritual battlefield that we must occupy.

Men, love your wives as Christ loved the Church. This includes praying for her so that you will become all she needs you to be in Christ.

Be the transformation you want to see. God bless you today as you seek Him.

I’ve been speaking primarily to men in this series. The topic has been praying for our wives so that we will be changed. I know many of you men are of the attitude that you pray for your wives so that God will change her. My point in this series is that God is going to change you in order to change her.

So far we’ve discussed the fact that praying for your wife will result in you evaluating your relationship with her, your responses to her, and the type of love you show her. Guys, this is “gut check” time. Will you be honest with yourself? Will you listen as well as hear when God answers you concerning your prayers for your wife?

This process will yield the sweet fruit of confession and repentance toward God and if necessary, to your wife. Men, you have a high calling as spiritual leader in your marriage. This leadership position can only be powered by the Holy Spirit who will enable you to love her sacrificially.

You will see a definite change in your heart attitude toward your wife. You will cherish, treasure, and celebrate her as God’s gift to you. You will see her as God’s appointed helper to walk alongside of you. She is your biggest supporter. She is worthy of celebrating and praising with a thankful heart.

This in turn changes your behavior. Men, the way we show that we treasure something is to spend time engaged. Schedules can be cruel task masters that will ransack a fruitful marriage. Make sure your priorities are right which means that time with your wife is near the top of your list.

This transformation will change the way you pray for your wife. It will no longer be “God change her because I can’t take much more,” and will instead become, “God change me so that I don’t take my wife for granted, so that I’m not bitter, so that I’m not hateful.” Your prayer life for your wife lays the foundation for a marriage God designed it to be.

Men, praying for our wives is a powerful and much-needed discipline. But I will boldly tell you that we need to pray for her as much, if not more than she needs us to pray for her. God change us so that we might be the men our wives need.

Grasping these truths will create a transformed heart. The next post will be the final in this series, “Men –Pray For Your Wives Part 5.”

Friends, I welcome your comments.